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alt_kingsleySirius,
I know this is a helluva time to raise this. I should be raising it with Alice and Remus. But Alice is up to her neck with assisting the distribution of people and resources with the scattering of Sherwood. Plus, I know she and Frank are grieving over Neville. I know Remus is distracted over Tonks and Adam, and besides, it's just about full moon.
But I've been assisting Davidson and his surviving Lieutenant-Colonels with the military debriefing, tabulating all the eye witness accounts and the button network reports, and the Order leadership needs to know this. I guess I want to break this to Remus in a day or two, if he and Alice aren't told by Davidson by then.
What's becoming clear is that in one day between the three of them, Ron and Justin and Hydra targeted and killed more people--ordinary civilians--than all the number of babies we've managed to save since the Sanctuary began.
I'll admit I'm not as detached as I should be. I've lost the last of my closest mates, the Players, in the last year, and I lost dozens--hundreds--of friends and acquaintances in the last two days.
I'll also freely admit that I'm a killer myself, Merlin knows, so I'm not turning my nose up at them for ending lives when I have plenty of blood on my own hands. And that includes collateral damage. But I aim my wand at the Deatheaters, MLE, and Enforcers who are running this regime.
I understand why Hydra did what she had to do with Neville. As much as it guts them, even Alice and Frank understood that.
But this...this was targeting the innocent at the Protectorate's orders. That's stepping into Rachel Brodie's territory. I understand her usefulness to us, and I understand she has to maintain her cover. But to have three more of us join her in this type of undercover work--and the youngest among us, too, which makes it even worse--well. It's making the innocent bodies pile up a little faster than I can stomach. Is the benefit really worth so high a cost?
Maybe you think it isn't fair to bring this up before Justin and Hydra and Ron are ready to debrief themselves. But I think the point needs to be raised: what the hell are we doing?
Do you want to tell Remus, or you want me to do it, if Davidson doesn't formally report it (or the three of them admit it) first?
I know this is a helluva time to raise this. I should be raising it with Alice and Remus. But Alice is up to her neck with assisting the distribution of people and resources with the scattering of Sherwood. Plus, I know she and Frank are grieving over Neville. I know Remus is distracted over Tonks and Adam, and besides, it's just about full moon.
But I've been assisting Davidson and his surviving Lieutenant-Colonels with the military debriefing, tabulating all the eye witness accounts and the button network reports, and the Order leadership needs to know this. I guess I want to break this to Remus in a day or two, if he and Alice aren't told by Davidson by then.
What's becoming clear is that in one day between the three of them, Ron and Justin and Hydra targeted and killed more people--ordinary civilians--than all the number of babies we've managed to save since the Sanctuary began.
I'll admit I'm not as detached as I should be. I've lost the last of my closest mates, the Players, in the last year, and I lost dozens--hundreds--of friends and acquaintances in the last two days.
I'll also freely admit that I'm a killer myself, Merlin knows, so I'm not turning my nose up at them for ending lives when I have plenty of blood on my own hands. And that includes collateral damage. But I aim my wand at the Deatheaters, MLE, and Enforcers who are running this regime.
I understand why Hydra did what she had to do with Neville. As much as it guts them, even Alice and Frank understood that.
But this...this was targeting the innocent at the Protectorate's orders. That's stepping into Rachel Brodie's territory. I understand her usefulness to us, and I understand she has to maintain her cover. But to have three more of us join her in this type of undercover work--and the youngest among us, too, which makes it even worse--well. It's making the innocent bodies pile up a little faster than I can stomach. Is the benefit really worth so high a cost?
Maybe you think it isn't fair to bring this up before Justin and Hydra and Ron are ready to debrief themselves. But I think the point needs to be raised: what the hell are we doing?
Do you want to tell Remus, or you want me to do it, if Davidson doesn't formally report it (or the three of them admit it) first?
(no subject)
Date: 2015-02-03 03:54 am (UTC)I'm not sure what you're asking me to do, Kingsley. What do you want? Do you want to pull them all out and hide them at Moddey Dhoo? I'd love to. Are you frustrated because they're not bringing us enough positive payoff yet? They're still young and they're not in their best positions yet to have more control over what they're hoping to do. Yes, it's frustrating but you should know how the long game is played.
And that's the point: They're young, they can be brought into the fold precisely because their mentors think they're raising a new generation of killers. We can't insinuate anyone older into the inner circle - they'd be discovered and then we'd be even worse off.
But they're not children, either. They can make their own decisions about whether they are up to the task. We can't ask them to serve in the types of roles they've chosen, but we can't prevent them from burrowing deep into the networks that will have them - and as painful as it is, we shouldn't prevent it. They are still our best chance at fighting the rot from inside.
As for 'admitting' anything - what haven't they admitted? Justin told us exactly what happened. Hydra warned us about Ollerton - not in time to stop it but certainly in time for Lee to report on it, for Draco to record what happened and for us to take those recordings to Aldrich for a broadside.
And in terms of Ollerton, itself, what were they supposed to do? Refuse, blow their covers? Those people would still be just as dead, Kingsley.
Do you think we don't need as many undercover operatives? But if we pull one, or all of them, where do we stop? And then how else do we penetrate the Protectorate machine?
(no subject)
Date: 2015-02-03 04:33 am (UTC)When I used the word 'admitted' I was referring specifically to the exact number of the body count. It was more than what we witnessed at Ollerton. I'm not saying they tried to hide anything from us, but I don't think they've yet told Alice and Remus that it reached somewhere between seventy and ninety people.
Not detached enough, hell. I'm sorry, my friend, but look, I haven't slept in over forty hours, and that included twelve hours of flat-out battle against the Protectorate's worst horrors. I'm probably still a bit Dementor-sick, too, and there isn't any chocolate here, that's for sure. I've been around people--the most professional people I know, mind you--who've been reeling with grief all day. I probably should have waited before trying to write this. Or at least until the stink of blood and smoke in my nostrils had faded a bit more for me.
Maybe tomorrow or the day after I'll have enough brainpower to figure out exactly what I want, but I can't articulate it now.
Even if I do, I probably haven't any chance of getting it.
Forgive me, my friend. I'll try again to sleep now.
(no subject)
Date: 2015-02-03 05:44 am (UTC)Look, if we could have stopped them going down this path in the first place, I would have done it. But it seems disingenuous now to make them feel worse by making them keep a count of every one of their transgressions as if they owe it to us. If they weren't horrified by what they had to do, I'd be more inclined to say they've got to reverse course. But that's why they asked for time to heal their own wounds. Not to avoid the smack on the wrist you seem to want to give them. Or maybe you think you're being helpfully concerned on their behalf, but it didn't sound like it.
So maybe we all need some sleep and clearer heads.
(no subject)
Date: 2015-02-03 02:35 pm (UTC)It sounds to me as if you think I'm being needlessly obtuse about the need to act a certain way when undercover. Not to mention absurdly squeamish. You say I want to give them 'slap on the wrist?' Now you're being damned condescending. My purpose isn't to make them feel worse about themselves so the rest of us can feel superior to them. When I asked, 'What the hell are we doing?' I meant not 'what are we doing by "letting these kids do this"?' because yes, I know they choose to do this and I know they're not kids. I'm asking 'what are we, as the Order doing, by pursuing this strategy?' Merlin, Sirius, you're the one who is always saying in the Grim Truths 'don't cooperate with the regime.' I had hoped when this war was done the Order would be integral in helping to rebuild Great Britain, but I see that chance, that hope, slipping away, the more our members are involved in atrocities.
To be fair, there's another part in my reaction you don't know about. I lost a blanket mate this weekend. It was casual, and it had been going on for about a year, but...anyway, it was just finally confirmed this morning.
She wasn't killed by Ron or Hydra or Justin, though, or even anyone in MLE. An inferi tore her apart.
Why did I want to talk to Remus? I wanted to let Remus and Alice know the body count in advance of the Order debriefing so that when Justin and Ron and Hydra tell them, they wouldn't react with horror during the debriefing and make them feel worse.
If you don't think Remus would react that way anyway, then fine. Forget I said anything.
You know, I think I've figured what else I want, and I was right. It is hopeless.
I want to change the past. I don't have a timeturner. Do you?